my shin meets car door. part CLXIV
my shins and car doors are an unhappy coupling. as my shit met with the car door this morning in an attempt to extract an ungodly parking ticket from my windsheild, i was reminded of a day two decades ago when a similar moment occured. although this one was my 5 year old shin meeting the bottom ledge of my mother’s beige dodge. we were either rushing to a gig of hers or doing laundry. both...
Some people think it’s selfish to pursue your own...
so much yes.
I HATE BATHING SUITS
snow in spring and yucky bathing suits
Subject: 10 Must-Have Cleaning Products– Oh,RealSimple email- you are so silly. don’t you know i will never feel like i “MUST HAVE” any cleaning product? i hate cleaning. and laundry and dishes!
heart rate rising
some teachers are assholes.
do you have any van gogh in your collection– WE STILL ONLY HAVE AMERICAN ART!
do you have egyptian art there?– its the —— Gallery of AMERICAN ART
do you have picassos there?– it’s the —— Gallery of AMERICAN ART
In the last five years, full-fledged adults have seemingly given up the...– Don’t Call Me, I Won’t Call You - NYTimes.com
When asked for comment, landlord Frank Czerniak stated that he planned to raise...– Something Wrong With Literally Everything In Apartment | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source breaking news from somerville, ma
are you drinking coffee and is it sunny out where...
no? i feel bad for you, son!
mom: later and HSPD to you me fine irish lassie (the funny, gorgeous and compassionate half of you - your dad gave you intellect, tenacity and a good heart)
pretty good balance if I'm any judge - and I am! love you so much
I enjoyed having you as our fact teacher.– rebecca, another student from the local elementary school
you are as nice as a painting– from annabelle, a student at a local elementary school- in a thank you note to me.
never let me leave the house again
without inspection of clothes and making sure i have make up on and my hair is done. i’m a slob
"The Shenevertakesherwatchoff Poem"
For Marcia Because you always have a clock strapped to your body, it’s natural that I should think of you as the correct time: with your long blonde hair at 8:03, and your pulse-lightning breasts at 11:17, and your rose-meow smile at 5:30, I know I’m right.
How are you doing? Pretty scary stuff that happened in Japan, huh?– - OkCupid message received. (via kingdragon) oh dear, that’s a keeper, ju
RecipeSource: French Fry Spam Casserole →
gmail ad in my mail box FAIL
Note to self:
Button coat THEN apply nail polish.